Bad kitty  
 

You guys have some sick ideas!!!

Clue 2 - It has hair.

walkie wrote:

Clue 2 - It has hair.

Are you sure it wasn't this girl  

Nope, I have it on good authority she's shaven

walkie wrote:

 Clue 2 - It has hair.  

 
 
 
 
I'm sticking with Pillowpants then  
 

I think I heard the tale of Walkie at a bar in Southhampton once.
It might have went like this...........

When Walkie was young, he was a talented, up and coming magician. He knew all the party tricks... pulling quarters out of your ears, endless handkerchiefs from pockets, hiding your nose and the ever popular detachable finger. Though no one ever saw the detachable finger in person, rumor had it he could do it!

One day while entertaining at his best mate Nigel's 7th birthday party, Walkie had everyone in complete awe. They thought he was not from this world. He pulled off all the major tricks.... but one............

It was time for that final trick from Walkie... the ever popular and jaw dropping, detachable finger!  

Walkie was ready... he needed one final break before his grande finale so he made his way to the chips and dip and grabbed an ice cold glass of Cola and a huge cheese coated chip and decided to dip it into some onion dip.

He made his way back to the crowd ready to perform.

He started... it was glorious... the finger was on and off and on again!!!!!!!!!!!
but.......... before he could re-attach it that final time, there was a blur out of the corner of everyone's eye.....Chompers,  Nigel's pet rottweiler!

Just at the moment his finger detached that fateful, final time, Chompers ran up and took the trick to a whole new level!  
Chompers could not resist the cheesy, onion-y goodness and just wanted a nibble; a nibble and knuckle was what he got.

Although the trick didn't go as Walkie planned, the crowd thought it went off even better than the rumors and applauded! "Walkie, Walkie, Walkie!!!!!" they chanted. Walkie stood with a tear forming in his eye and blood dripping from his newly adjusted digit.

Nigle's mum called for cake and the crowd dispersed leaving Walkie down a 1/3 of a digit.
He 'Walkied' away and never visited Nigel again.

Years later he met Nigel in a pub and Nigel recanted the story saying how great that party was and how cool the trick was. It was then that Walkie gave Nigel the finger and smashed him in the face with a pint of Newcastle and walked out saying 'F#$% Nigel and F$@# Dogs".


At least that is the story I heard.

It was bitten off whilst trying to mate with a RABBIT as a young boy  

Jaws cousin "Chompers" maby  
 

OMG, enough food far SAW 6 in this thread.. Sicko's

It's so obvious.
When Stefan grew up, electricity was just invented but not yet widely spread.
Still wanting to hook up the tesla-coil he got for Christmas little Stef went out with a bucket and a net and cought himself an electric eel to hook up (little boy genius). Unfortunately during the way home, a Condor spotted him walking around with the eel (from the height the condor was flying that must have looked like a big fat worm). So it took a dive and just before actually grabbing the eel, Stefan saw its shadow and threw himself in a near-by coal-shed.. Landing on a cat's tail which get mad and bit him in the finger with his plaque and rabies infested mouth. Finger died soon after and had to be removed.

So it was a cat.

It was a rabbit that took your finger off then the next day you all had rabbit stew

arohk wrote:

It was a rabbit that took your finger off then the next day you all had rabbit stew

 
Run Awayyyy !!!!!!!!
 

We Have a WINNER for the correct animal *RABBIT* from AUSSIEFORTUNA!!

AussieFortuna wrote:

It was bitten off whilst trying to mate with a RABBIT as a young boy

However I would like to add I was not trying to mate with the rabbit, commiserations to AROHK, you nearly had it, but AF beat you by 3 hrs.

arohk wrote:

It was a rabbit that took your finger off then the next day you all had rabbit stew

but it looks like I got off lightly...



UPDATE

Lets keep this thread going for another 24 hrs, and wrap it up for 09:00 GMT (Friday 13th September). We still have the funniest answer to play for, I'll rope in a judge to help me decide. Also lets up the prize to 2 items from my sales thread including shipping for funniest answer.

*AussieFortuna*, make sure you PM me your 2 items and your address mate?

Did you have a ferret when you where a kid? They are known to bite on babie fingers.

Edit: just saw it was a rabbit hehe, first time I hear of a rabbit biting of an entire finger. Sorry to hear that

Funny... 


Real... 

Congrats Aussiefortuna  
 

 

Funniest answer prize is open for 14 hrs everyone.

That's my favorite one so far Paul      

but there have been some really good ones by all you other guys too  

    to everyones entries - lets see more  

well personally I believe it wasnt a rabbit he just dosn't want to admit he was on Kamino where he found a little island, he seen this little critter and though noone is here and it was a long time in space so who would know. As he reached for his zipper he though hmmm better see if it feels warm, well in went the finger and chomp, as he cursed the little critter his thoughts went to it could have been worse. But alas he went for it anyway now its not just the tip of the finger missing.
 
Here is the little critter that took his finger yah we will go with the rabbit story though we all believe that don't we lol

does it still haunt you in your dreams Stef  

walkie wrote:

We Have a WINNER for the correct animal *RABBIT* from AUSSIEFORTUNA!!

AussieFortuna wrote:

It was bitten off whilst trying to mate with a RABBIT as a young boy

However I would like to add I was not trying to mate with the rabbit, commiserations to AROHK, you nearly had it, but AF beat you by 3 hrs.

arohk wrote:

It was a rabbit that took your finger off then the next day you all had rabbit stew

but it looks like I got off lightly...



UPDATE

Lets keep this thread going for another 24 hrs, and wrap it up for 09:00 GMT (Friday 13th September). We still have the funniest answer to play for, I'll rope in a judge to help me decide. Also lets up the prize to 2 items from my sales thread including shipping for funniest answer.

*AussieFortuna*, make sure you PM me your 2 items and your address mate?

WOOOOOOOOO WHOOOOOOOOO, THANKS WALKIE, ive dead set never won anything lol, and im still trying to get the picture out of my head of you mating with a rabbit as a young lad lol.

In all seriousness rabbits are bloody dangerous little buggers, one took a chunk out of my thumb as a kid, ive been scared of them ever since, i was also bitten by a duck as a 5 year old, im still scared of them too, infact i hate em lol.

Can we get the whole blow by blow story about the rabbit attack mate?

cheers:cheers: 

COMPO CLOSED

 Once again congrats to AussieFortuna (Tony) for guessing correctly a Gammy Guard & Bib are winging there way to you.  

I've asked a work colleague (if everyone's ok with that?) to judge to funniest answers, and I'll be announcing the next winner later today.

I'll also post the full blow by blow story later.

FUNNIST PRIZE AWARD

And the WINNER is Alex (General Kahn), even after my 2nd clue "It has hair" he popped in the same reply, well done   

Make sure you PM me your two figure chances mate.

General Kahn wrote:

My guess is...... That there was no 'little' accident with a pet at all, and that is just a lie to cover up your shame, I beleive this was actually a result of your first sexual encounter with a girl..... THIS GIRL!

Well, that's the end of this FINGERS for FIGURES compo, so i'll end with the full story....

Rewind to '78....

I was a playful little child aged two, not only excited with the prospect of soon having a little brother or sister to beat up to play with my Dad popped out to the local pet shop and brought me my first (and only) pet....a nice big white fluffy bunny rabbit

So there I was, playing in the back garden when I thought it would be nice to play with my pet rabbit. However he was only interested in hiding at the back of the cage, probably scared to death what horror's a small child could inflict on him. So I decided to poke one of my little pinkies through the mesh (oh dear...)

Now I don't know weather or not I had been playing with orange colouring pens or not but the little bugger mistook my little pinkie for a carrot and bit the end straight off! My mother came running out of the house to find me to her horror clasping my poor little pinkie, now 1/3 shorter!

So straight to the hospital to have it stitched up, the rabbit was never to be seen again (and I will not divulge what happen) but the rabbit never ate another meal.

Fastward 20 odd years, a guy I had worked with for years noticed and ask about my finger, to my amazement the same  had happened to his little sister but her's had been sown back on.

To which I replied, "but my rabbit ate the end of my finger!"